Enforcing Standard English in Schools

Food for Thought: Should students who speak a non-standard dialect of English be forced to learn standard English in school?

The Yiddish linguist Max Weinreich published the expression,"A shprakh iz a dialekt mit an armey un flot"(A language is a dialect with an army and navy.)

What is the value in stigmatizing non-standard dialects? Is the intention really to promote widespread communication, or do we have ulterior motives relating to power and class?

This issue is hot in the educational community right now. Many educators draw a line between written and spoken language. They encourage students to speak in their native dialects so they can easily and fluently express ideas without worrying about correct grammar. In written language, however, students are required to use proper English.

As a teacher in the South Bronx, where many students are most comfortable using "street talk," I have adopted this stance because I want my students to be able to compete in a society that values standard English. Future employers often evaluate students' intelligence by the ease with which they can manipulate the language of academics. They need to know it. They need to be bi-dialectic.

But I am unsatisfied with this answer. Yes, I am teaching them how to play the game, how to gain membership in the club of the powerful and elite. But is this method ethical, or am I feeding into a corrupt system? At the end of the day, is it right for one dialect to be deemed supreme above all others?

This is a difficult question facing the education system right now. Denying the merits of students' native dialects could result in feelings of alienation and further proof to disadvantaged students that school is not meant for them. Accepting the value of alternative dialects, however, demands a degree of faith that we will not be creating a generation of people who speak mutually incomprehensible dialects.
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Introducing the Asus Eee PC

I am typing to you from a clunky, 8 pound mega laptop with a power cord that needs to be propped up on a book to function. One unintentional jiggle, and the screen goes dark. All communication functions are down until I reboot, wait - a little longer - before the power light feebly flickers back on. The 17" screen and "spacious" keyboard appealed to me two years ago when I purchased this behemoth computer, but both have proven burdensome. If only there was an ultra mobile laptop that would be small enough and sleek enough to take anywhere, a sort of futuristic mini-computer that's fast and efficient, while still being compact.

Introducing the Ultra Mobile PCs. If you haven't heard of the Eee PC yet, you are in for a treat. Taiwanese based hardware manufacturer, Asus, released the Eee PC in October 2007, and computer geeks everywhere have been scrambling to get their hands on one. EeePC stands for "easy to learn, easy to work, and easy to play." At just over 2lbs, 7 inches, and priced between $299-$450 (depending on the model) it is easy to understand why it is stirring up so much excitement.


The Eee PC is part of a new class of notebooks, called netbooks, that are capable of surfing the internet, and accessing web-based applications, but do not not store information on your hard-drive like traditional notebooks. Instead, users save information directly on the web. This adds to the speed and efficiency of the devices, because they are not bogged down by stored data.

One criticism of the Ultra-Mobiles is that many adult users feel uncomfortable using the keyboards, which are significantly smaller than the ones found on average-sized laptops. A further concern is the Linux-based platform which does not support Microsoft Office or Adobe Creative Suite programs. Instead, the netbook comes with free copies of open-source software like OpenOffice and AbiWord, which are great, but require some adjustment. (It is possible to override the Linux system and replace it with Windows XP, but you will need to purchase it separately and install it using an external DVD drive - which is also not included.)
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Attention All You Lushes

I often wonder what it would have been like to live through the 1950s, a decade when the damaging effects of cigarettes and martinis were still suspect cautionary tales. It was a time when men indulged in 4-martini lunches, and women gathered in neighbors' smoking rooms without suffering from the unsavory guilt that we children of the Boomers will forever endure. By the 1980s, it was impossible to ignore the thousands of scientific studies correlating cigarettes and alcohol with blackened lungs and scarred livers. Now, another burden of knowledge is befalling our generation. Cocktails aren't just bad for your liver, they can also make you fat.

A new law requires restaurants that have 15 or more locations to publish calorie information for all beverages. Public health experts predict that publishing calorie facts will lead people to make healthier choices about what they drink. As much as I regret not being born into an era of guilt-free indulgence, jello molds, and Elvis, I am grateful to be living in a world where information is freely dispersed and heart attacks at 40 are uncommon. Here is a calorie guide to your favorite cocktails, do with it what you will:

Mai Tai: 350 calories
White Russian: 425 calories
Pina Colada: 650 calories
Margarita: 740 calories
Long Island Iced Tea: 775 calories

(*These figures were reported by CBS News as the average caloric content of cocktails that are served at chain restaurants like Olive Garden and Fridays where giant 16 oz servings are the norm. Most New York bars serve much smaller drinks, and average half to a third as many calories.)



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