Attention All You Lushes

I often wonder what it would have been like to live through the 1950s, a decade when the damaging effects of cigarettes and martinis were still suspect cautionary tales. It was a time when men indulged in 4-martini lunches, and women gathered in neighbors' smoking rooms without suffering from the unsavory guilt that we children of the Boomers will forever endure. By the 1980s, it was impossible to ignore the thousands of scientific studies correlating cigarettes and alcohol with blackened lungs and scarred livers. Now, another burden of knowledge is befalling our generation. Cocktails aren't just bad for your liver, they can also make you fat.

A new law requires restaurants that have 15 or more locations to publish calorie information for all beverages. Public health experts predict that publishing calorie facts will lead people to make healthier choices about what they drink. As much as I regret not being born into an era of guilt-free indulgence, jello molds, and Elvis, I am grateful to be living in a world where information is freely dispersed and heart attacks at 40 are uncommon. Here is a calorie guide to your favorite cocktails, do with it what you will:

Mai Tai: 350 calories
White Russian: 425 calories
Pina Colada: 650 calories
Margarita: 740 calories
Long Island Iced Tea: 775 calories

(*These figures were reported by CBS News as the average caloric content of cocktails that are served at chain restaurants like Olive Garden and Fridays where giant 16 oz servings are the norm. Most New York bars serve much smaller drinks, and average half to a third as many calories.)